I’m excited to be featured as a Relationship Expert columnist for the website Deep Soulful Love! The website is specifically for women navigating tough questions about relationships and longing to experience healthy romance.
In this column, I explore the complicated question of what to do when you know you should leave a relationship but still have feelings for your partner.
Here is a preview:
“If you want to leave the man you love, you are likely experiencing a range of emotions. You may feel sure of your decision one minute, only to question yourself the next.
This is understandable – this decision carries weight. At the same time, it will be important for you to understand your emotions so that you are not paralyzed by them. Emotions are neither positive nor negative; they simply give us information about what we need.
Consult an emotions list. Identify the emotions you feel, and write them down. Try to notice your emotions with curiosity and without judgment, and to accept whatever you are experiencing without trying to change it. Research suggests that naming your emotions makes them less overwhelming.
Once you acknowledge your emotions, you will have more mental clarity. If you want to leave, there are things about the relationship that have not been working for you, or even that have harmed you.
The key is helping yourself stay grounded in the reality of your experience, particularly if your partner tries to talk you out of leaving or to invalidate your experience. Recall your reasons logically and stick to them, especially if your partner is manipulative or abusive.
Ask yourself: is this really love? You understandably have an attachment to this person that come from shared history.
At the same time, physical involvement releases chemicals in the brain that cause feelings of infatuation and connection that are reinforced by pop culture’s images of flawless romance. However, you may unknowingly construct a fantasy image of your partner and overlook the reality of how he is actually behaving or treating you.”
Click here to read the full article! Enjoy!